No child left behind

This is the perfect analogy for No Child Left Behind, which is a ludicrously backward and ineffective (and unfunded) mandate of the Bush admin. PLEASE PLEASE let the next president get rid of it. You will not find one teacher or administrator that thinks it has worked or been a good idea. People who are not educators should not try to reform education. They have no idea what goes on in schools and classrooms every day. In an attempt to "leave no child behind" they have effectively dumbed down our education system so that every child will "pass". What level do you think tests need to be at so EVERY child, including ones with profound mental retardation, can all pass them? Yeah.

No Child Left Behind for Football...

1. All teams must make the state playoffs and all MUST win the championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable. If, after two years, they have not won the championship, their footballs and equipment will be taken away UNTIL they do win the championship.

2. All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time even if they do not have the same conditions or opportunities to practice on their own. NO exceptions will be made for lack of interest in football, a desire to perform athletically, genetic abilities or disabilities of themselves or their parents. ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL!

3. Talented players will be asked to workout and improve on their own, without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their instructional time with the athletes who aren't interested in football, have limited athletic ability or whose parents don't like football.

4. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in the 4th, 8th, and 11th game.

5. This will will create a New Age of Sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimum goals. If no child gets ahead, then no child gets left behind.

6. If parents do not like this new law, they are encouraged to vote for vouchers and support private schools that can screen out the non-athletes and prevent their children from having to go to school with bad football players.